| Words of Wisdom |
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- Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting.. Holy Shit !!! What a Ride!! - You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever. - The secret to life is honesty and fair dealing--if you can fake that you've got it licked. Groucho Marx - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy - The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was - Procrastination has its good side--you always have something to do tomorrow. - If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance - A man is standing in the woods and there is no woman around to hear him -- is he still wrong? - There are very few problems that can't be solved with orders ending in "or die" Alistair J.R. Young - If you must choose between two evils -- pick the one you've never done before - If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught, then lie - Its hard to remember the truth yesterday, much less a lie two days ago - Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho Marx - No matter how cute she is, somewhere somebody is sick of her shit - Weather forcast for tonight: dark with continued dark overnight changing to widely scattered light by morning. George Carlin - The only easy day was yesterday Remember: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas 2. You only need two tools WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it should move and doesn't, use WD-40; if it does move and shouldn't, use Duct Tape 3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them 4. When you make a mistake, fix it quickly--its easier to eat crow while its still warm 5. If he / she says you are too good for them - believe them 6. Pick your battles wisely--ask yourself if this will matter a year from now, month, week, or day. 7. Never pass up an opportunity to pee 8. If you woke up breathing today -- CONGRATULATIONS, you have another chance 9. Work is good, but not all that important 10. Be nice to family and friends -- you never know when you will need them to empty your bedpan |
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| Back to the Dog House |
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